just another 3 a.m. conversation

mo (jumping out of bed): STAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: urgbbbllllzzzzz

mo: STAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: huh?

mo: STAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: what?


me: oh. that’s nice. good night.

I still have no idea why she needed a stamp at that hour of night.

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mo and the lucha gatos

art is the reason I get up in the morning
but the definition ends there
it doesn’t seem fair
that i’m living for something
i can’t even define.

— the prophet ani





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friday night lights

Hair can be art, too. 

the art walk is a melting pot of people. we’re sitting in front of an apartment building that has become the impromptu backdrop for a concert. the darkness of the street contrasts with the lighted lobby, where people coming home stop for their mail, seemingly oblivious to the party in their front yard. 

a reggae jam band fronted by a ukulele player serenades passers-by between pitches for beer money. what must be the city’s entire punk scene mingles with skateboarders. a couple with a young girl stop to listen as their spaniel pup contemplates whether my foot is a fire hydrant. 

the weather is pleasant, the eclectic people of a quirky town are smiling. for a fleeting second, it feels like home. 

mostly, i want a yellow mohawk. 

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my asics fresh foam zante (with lanolin) review

Longtime readers will recall I’ve been working my way through every running shoe ever made. I began the experiment 35 years or so ago with adidas (rom?). It’s only fitting that I end with the Zante.

If you’ve been under a rock for the past year, or you don’t follow every shoe made by every manufacturer in the planet, you don’t know about the Fresh Foam Zante. New Balance finally ran out of numbers to name its shoes, so it started making up names. Zante is the name of an island somewhere, or possibly the record company guy Fogerty mocked after a lawsuit in which the company sued Fogerty for sounding like Fogerty. But that’s not really part of my shoe review. Although I’ll be humming Willie and the Poor Boys for the duration of the review. Which is this.

I was thinking about the Zantes this morning. And the thing I thought is that I have NEVER thought about the Zantes. From the first time I put them on till the time I took them off yesterday, I have not given them one  thought. And what more could you ask for in a pair of running shoes? Other than a built-in medium chocolate frosty machine, which likely would have a significant impact on the weight.

No shoe works for all people. Except of course for the Trump, which will work so well it will make your head spin. But after all these years, this shoe is the one that works for me.

It’s light, but not TOO light. 8 ounces, I think. A 6mm drop, somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. And a snug midfoot combined with a wide toe box. Lordy, my toes love to splay. Inside, the shoes are super smooth. No seams, nothing to rub, which is huge when your religion doesn’t allow you to wear socks. This is why I never became a county clerk. I would be unable to give out sock licenses. And they have a woven sort of a top that’s very breathable, a must in a land that never drops below 110 degrees. Somebody on letsrun described them as “house slippers woven from Jesus’s beard hairs.” This is clearly wrong because AP style says proper names ending in S should have only an apostrophe and not an extra s. But you get the idea.

I have a bunch of miles on them already (maybe a couple hundred?) and they show no signs of wear. They have developed a pleasant aroma, no doubt from the lanolin. For some reason they don’t have the stench of the Piranhas, and the cat has yet to attempt to bury them in the litter box.

Even the laces are fantastic. A semi-stretchy material that works great, and is easy to dance to.

The colors are weird, but I’ve been wearing sunglasses, so whatever.

I put them on, and I run. Usually in that order. No blisters, no pain, no ITBS, no lo contendre.

Bonus: It only costs about a hundred bucks, less than the cost of a commemorative sweatshirt at the Disney Marathon.

Added Bonus: ZANTE is much more fun to say that 110, the name of my previous favorite new balance shoe.

Minus: Having to say Fresh Foam. That whole Will Smith thing is a bit weird. And we forgot the victory ceegars after Pandora anyhow.

In conclusion:

• The New Balance Fresh Foam Zante (with lanolin) is a fine shoe. I would definitely grant you a license to marry it if I were a city clerk.

• Creedence makes a great running soundtrack.

• When using Jesus’ name as a possessive, the second S is not needed.

• Please don’t make me run in the Trump.

The Fresh Foam Zante. Moon sold separately.

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life is funny, part 362

I’m looking in the mirror at an old T-shirt given to me by my good friend Stephan Pastis, creator of Pearls Before Swine. Or maybe he made me pay 20 bucks for it. And possibly I’ve never actually met him.

Longtime readers will recall that margarine is named after a line in a Pearls cartoon. “But I LIKE margarine,” Pig says. I always suspected Pastis was a visionary. But then.

I remember what the cartoon, drawn years ago, says.

In the first panel, Goat (the intellectual/philosopher/tin can eater of the group) stares into the distance as he says, “Do you realize that while most people in this country spend more than they have, people in China earn just a few dollars a day and somehow manage to save fifty percent of their income?”

He continues: “Added to this is the fact that China is building one of the world’s largest manufacturing bases at a time when this country is shipping its manufacturing base overseas.”

“Meanwhile, as this country spends a huge chunk of its resources building schools and bridges in Iraq, China is undergoing a massive military buildup, even purchasing offensive weapons to be deployed near Taiwan, a nation we’re pledged to defend?”

In the fourth panel, he looks over at Rat and Pig, the stars of the strip, and asks, “I don’t mean to be a Chicken Little here, but man, isn’t that all a little worrisome?”

In the next panel, Goat looks at Rat and Pig. Rat and Pig look blankly back at Goat.

Rat turn to Pig and asks, “Did you see ‘The Apprentice’ this week?” Pig’s face lights up. “Did I? OF COURSE I DID!”

In the last panel, Goat turns away bemused. “I see you’re quite concerned,” he mutters, as Rat and Pig exchange Donald Trump impressions. “Dude dude check this out … YA FIRED! HAHAHAHAH! “No, no, no. Lookitme lookitme lookit me YA FIRED! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

I thought it was hilarious. I thought it was just a comic strip.

Life is funny …

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things i wish i had said, part 52

Pictures never do her justice, you know? She always says she wishes there was a way to do people’s lives a little more justice.
— bryn k. chancellor

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life always seems to turn out ok

Downside: As it turns out, for the past month I have been washing clothes with fabric softener rather than detergent. They are both in green tubs. How was I to know.

Upside: Although my clothes come out of the dryer still dirty, they are very soft.

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