The Morning News Show Dilemma

So let’s say you’re ABC. You’ve got a successful morning news show. Your beloved co-anchor Diane Sawyer, who apparently has come down with the Bavarian Cocoa Puff Flu and gone temporarily insane, takes the evening news gig. You need someone to replace her. Your choice: George Stephanopoulos. GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS????

1. He’s a male. You are replacing a female with a male (albeit a sissy boy) for a target demographic that I assume is heavily female. (Sorry, I cannot be bothered to look these things up.)

2. He’s dull as dirt. In saying this, I apologize profusely to dirt. He was hosting a Sunday morning news show, for God’s sake. You cannot host a Sunday morning news show if you show the slightest glimmer of being interesting.

Yeah, yeah, Tiger Woods is a cad. we get it, already.

3. He was a leading member of the 1992 presidential campaign for Bill Clinton. Clinton went on to have highly publicized extramarital sex. Tiger Woods also had highly publicized extramarital sex. Haven’t we had enough lewd coverage of Tiger Woods??? Why does ABC insist on rubbing this in our faces?

4. That name. Sorry. Stephanopoulos just doesn’t work unless you’re a Dr. Seuss character.

Mo, who enjoys the first hour of the morning news until they switch to Hour 2 for What’s Fashionable While Caring For Your Sick Child in The Kitchen, is wearing out the remote control. On the one hand, she loves Robin on ABC but now cannot stand any of her cohorts. On the other hand, she desperately hates Meredith Vieira’s interviewing skills (but loves to hear her ask “which of these is not a color? a. red. b. blue. c. yellow d. broccoli.)

Both of our morning news show hangouts have made choices so vile that we are forced to flee. We  find ourselves watching CBS more, even though we are clueless what anyone is thinking with Harry Smith. And we wonder why network TV is in trouble?

What time does SpongeBob come on again?

About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
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1 Response to The Morning News Show Dilemma

  1. The Vegan Anti-Hero says:

    May I suggest Morning Joe? I mean Pat Buchanan is a regular and the guy really pulled his weight in the 2000 election. Go Reform Party! Oh, and the show is brewed by Starbucks. Yea, actually brewed. Whatever that means in relation to a news program.

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