Monthly Archives: May 2010

Just a walk in the park

She alternates between the past tense and the present when talking about him. They were walking in the park a month ago when he fell over dead. No warning. He just grabbed on to her shoulder, then he was gone. … Continue reading

Posted in running | 5 Comments

If I were president, Part 10

I’d paint that house some other color. White’s just dull ………………………..

Posted in margarine | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

If I were president, Part 9

Three words: Nationwide Raisinet ban. Think about it. Raisinets were introduced to the United States in 1927. Two years later came the stock market crash of October 29, 1929. The economy shriveled. Black Tuesday. Raisins are black and shriveled. Coincidence? … Continue reading

Posted in running | 3 Comments

If I were president, Part 8

I would nominate Diana Ross to be the next Supreme Court justice. She’s a woman, she’s black and she’s got experience as a Supreme. What more could you ask for? And let’s hear Antonin Scalia try to belt out “Stop … Continue reading

Posted in running | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

If I were president, Part 7

I would force Robert Byrd out of office. I would say, “Yo, Robert Byrd. Retire already. It’s been 50 years. Enough.” Robert Byrd would say, “Is that you, Mr. Roosevelt?” I would say, “Yo, Robert, I rest my case. Now … Continue reading

Posted in margarine | Tagged , | 2 Comments

If I were president, Part 6

I would be a big fan of the pocket veto, just because i think it’s much fun to say “pocket veto.” Mo, as Chief Cheep, would often say “Excuse me, Mr. President. Is that a pocket veto or are you … Continue reading

Posted in margarine | Tagged , | Leave a comment

If I were president, Part 5

There would be a Frosty machine in the Lincoln Bedroom. No vanilla. Because vanilla isn’t really a Frosty at all.

Posted in margarine | Tagged , | Leave a comment