What the truck?

I’m driving a 16-foot truck. I’m terrified.

Did I ever mention that I’ve driven various incarnations of the Honda Civic since I was 18? I get nervous when I drive Mo’s rav-4, the family’s “big” vehicle. So a monster moving truck is way out of my comfort zone.  Not to mention the comfort zone of everyone in a 2-block radius.

But I have to get it home to pack, so I creep along. All surface streets, no freeways. Right lane, much prayer, the adrenalin rush of a bungee jumper who has just realized he forgot to tie a knot.

All’s well till the last intersection. I think I can make it through, but I have woefully mistimed. I brake hard. Too hard. There is a horrible crash just behind me. The impact is so violent that it jolts me in my seat. Oh, shit.

I sit stunned for a moment at the red light, collecting myself. How could this happen? We haven’t even started the stupid trip and I’ve already had an accident. Then it hits me: The guy behind me must be in really bad shape. This was a major impact.

I get out of the truck and walk to the rear. The driver behind me is in an Escalade, totally unharmed; there’s no impact. The only problem now is that I’m standing in the middle of the intersection blocking traffic. I am not popular.

I am totally mystified. If the guy behind me didn’t turn his car into a pancake on my rear bumper, then what was that monstrous thump I just felt?

I get back in the truck, move through the intersection, and I hear it. A slight scraping sound as something rolls along in the back of the truck. Oh.

Lesson No. 1: Always tie down the hand truck in the back of the moving truck. Just because you decide to stop doesn’t mean it will.

Lesson No. 2: Always wear adult diapers.

The adventure begins …

About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
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7 Responses to What the truck?

  1. lit chick says:

    Hahahahaha! I shouldn’t laugh because karma will get me if I ever move again. Poor Garbo! Stay strong! I’ll pray that the hurricane holds off until you’ve turned in the Uhaul in CC. Drive slowly and swing wide on the turns.


  2. sara says:

    oh man, lesson 2 should be at the top of this post…gotta go now and change.
    I guess I didn’t really laugh at your expense being that I now have to go wash a load of laundry…thank you for the laugh. I am so happy for you and Mo and this next adventure.


  3. tosuperstar says:

    You’ve heard of National Lampoons “Vacation”, Coming soon to a theatre near you, National Lampoons all new, “The Move”.


  4. sassafras says:

    I have my CDL license I can drive that truck through Manhattan and not break a sweat.
    thats not helping is it……


  5. gdionelli says:

    So is the Honda Civic going to be lashed to the back of this thing?


  6. SeniorRunner says:

    My life is measured in memorable U-haul moves. Out of consideration for your situation, I’ll spare you the details.

    Except to mention that I, too, once heard that crash in the back, before realizing it was a “Hello Dolly!” moment.


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