Today I embark on a 24-week plan to get faster. But how?
Sure, more intense training might do it. But that requires suffering and chafing and washing my shorts more than once a month.
Better nutrition? Nothing is better than the Medium Chocolate Frosty. I’m covered.
Sleep? I work the 3 p.m. to midnight shift alternating with the 5 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. shift while Mo works days and the cat apparently never sleeps. So this one cannot be fixed.
What’s left?
I need compression socks!!!
I have read countless testimonials as to the benefits of running in compression socks. It seems easy enough. The problem: I don’t wear socks.
The solution: Racing toenails!!!
They’re lightweight. They’re bold. They make me feel fast. And pretty.
Will Racing Toenails really make me faster? We’ll find out in 24 weeks.
i like margarine 
Surely those aren’t your feet. Are those really your feet? They are entirely too pretty to be your feet. I always imagined your feet to be kinda gnarly. What’s around you ankle…if that is your ankle? Do you have a road id anklet?
Furthermore, what’s happening in 24 weeks?
in 24 weeks i will be faster!
i wear road id at all times except when showering. if i die in the shower i will be a john doe.
If you run with painted nails, you must do so barefoot, otherwise they won’t be seen and it won’t help!
uh oh. does this also apply to my Racing Panties?
You know, I keep clicking “notify me of comments via email” but no-one ever does.
I’d also like to say that that’s one happy little painted dude in the background. 🙂
beats me about the notice thing. site doesn’t cost nuttin’, you know. doesn’t have to work.
(happy little guy is a girl. now mo hates you.)
It used to work, but now, like Mo, hates me. Sorry Mo! The lack of hair threw me off.
The happy little painted dude clearly has a foot fetish.
Huh? A girl? Sorry, Mo. Make that “dudette.”
Pink is the magic color, just so you know.
i would be constantly worrying about heel pain. sorry. (ps glad it’s getting better so i can joke about it!)
24 weeks til the Marshall Marathon . . loopfest WV 2 . . . to good to pass up
funny. but nah, i’m thinking the Incarnate Word Academy Marathon across the street. If I’m the only person in the race, surely I can break into the top three in my age group. Mostly just an experiment to see if I can actually get results using a reasonable training plan. Before I lose interest and do something entirely different, of course …
You sure that’s not one of those house arrest monitoring thingies on your ankle?
hard to say for certain. i can’t bend over that far.