Why Heart Monitors Suck: An Essay

Under my Training Strategy of the Week, I’ve been running 10-minute miles. My scheme is to get comfy with a 10-minute pace and then expand the number of miles (as opposed to running more miles more slowly). I was up to two 10-minute miles last week and felt fine. A hard effort, but I figured it would start to get a little easier this week.

Today I wore the heart monitor strap just to see what the numbers were at that level. As it turns out, I was clinically dead. The first mile showed that I was totally maxing out. As I started the second mile, the number showed that I was holding on to a high-voltage power line while standing in a tub of water. SWEET JESUS IN A PROM DRESS YOU CAN’T RUN THIS FAST YOU MORON SLOW DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the hr advised me.

And that’s when it happened. I thought to myself. I CAN’T run this fast. Even though I knew I had done it all last week. When I wasn’t thinking about it, 10-minute miles came easily. When my brain got involved, it became too hard.

This is why you shouldn’t let your brain get anywhere near you running shoes. Logic should play no part in this game.

Tomorrow, back to the old strategy. Don’t think, just run.

And BK will have fun playing with her new elastric strap toy …

About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
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11 Responses to Why Heart Monitors Suck: An Essay

  1. Raina says:

    I don’t believe you. You need to post a graph so I can see the data.

    • Believe!

      Just click on the trail monkey at top left of page. That goes to running log.

      Then click on “workouts” on the left.

      Clock on the magnifying glass for today to see it.

      Then go to “graphs.” Underneath the pace one, add “heart rate.” That will put pace and hr up on same graph. (also, smooth pace up to 100 or so. That gets rid of the Garmin flutter and shows a better pace line.)

      You can see last week’s numbers there as well. Consistent 10’s, no problem. It’s only the science that’s doing me in.

      • Raina says:

        Aha! I found the secret passage to your RA log. Wow!
        I never put in my garmin stats to RA- just upload manually. I guess i might be paranoid about someone seeing my real routes. The other notes don’t concern me too much.
        Makes me wonder what your HR max is.

      • my max is right at 170. I ran a test at the first of the year just to see if it had changed. treadmill torture session with steady incline increase, similar to doctor stress test. I hit 166 before fearing that I would fall off the back. So added four to make up the theoretical difference. So 162-165 should be my 5k pace. Beats me.

  2. Frisbee Kitty says:

    Hmmm, this post begs for a reply that suggests your brain is not properly situated on your body. However, since I am the biggest head-case I know, I will refrain from making such a comment.

  3. tosuperstar says:

    When my heart moniter does this ———————————————– is that a bad sign?

  4. sassafras says:

    Don’t leave running shoes in the dinning room … Unless you like spagetti sauce in them

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