Mo is drinking my beer.
Is this our only beer, I ask.
No, she says.
Then why are you drinking mine, I ask.
I don’t want a whole beer, she replies.
Oh, I say.
If I win $450 jillion today, I will hire a trained monkey* to drink half a beer and give Mo the rest. I will be happy. Mo will be happy.
The monkey will be really happy.
I wish I had half a beer. But I’m glad I don’t have a drunk monkey …
* kids: please note this is a trained monkey on a closed course. do not try this at home.
Mo only drinks half a beer? Does she also only eat half a frosty or half a breakfast taco? This is grounds to revoke her honorary Texas citizenship. But i won’t tell anyone… I promise.
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When we were talking about getting a new car, she just wanted to know if she could put a “god bless johnny cash” bumper sticker on it. i pointed out he’s not from texas. Neither am I, she said. there’s still some brainwashing left to be done here. I’m guessing a Hill Country drive through the bluebonnets will do it …
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Hey wait a second…. I just remembered something. I’m not from Texas either!! Why do I keep forgetting that?
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So after she was done drinking, was your glass half full or half empty?
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Glass? True Texans don’t drink beer out of a glass. We drink it straight off the floor. (yes, there was an unfortunate incident involving half a beer. Funny how life works out.)
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Watch out for Mo and the Monkey, first it is half a beer, next it’s half your fries. Beer is a keystone drug.
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I’d given up on the fries years ago. Beer was my last refuge. oh, well.
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Mr Penguin doesnt touch my beer. We are both happy.
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Please don’t tell Mo. She would leave me for Mr. Penguin in a heartbeat.
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