If I had won the lottery (an essay)

In my opinion, long-distance running is unhealthy and dumb.
— dog12

There are certain things the human body was not designed to do. You can force it do it, but force it enough times and it will break down. No room for mashismo in basic biology.
— Captn ahab

May he Rest in Peace. But scientifically, this kind of ultra running is more detrimental then helpful to the body.  Past a few milies, the body primarily starts to adjust to the trauma of continuous shock more then it engages in further conditioning.  Push even the finest tuned engine too hard, and it starts to disintegrate.
— magnifico 1000

If I had won the lottery, I would spend the week flying around the country, giving an enthusiastic poke in the eye to everyone who wrote “see! I TOLD you running was bad for you” in the reader response section of Micah True’s  obit.

Then I would would stare into their good eye and say “See! I TOLD you writing mean things you know nothing about would cause you to go blind.”

But not if I had to split the lottery three ways. In that case there would be barely enough money for my 400 Frosties a day for life.

And when I died, people would say “See! I TOLD you 400 Frosties a day is bad for you.”

You really can’t win with dumb people.

About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
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4 Responses to If I had won the lottery (an essay)

  1. tosuperstar says:

    If I wouid have won I would have bought you a Monkey…you’ve always wanted a Monkey.

    Some people probably would have thought that was dumb too.

  2. slowernie says:

    http://www.scmuseum.org/exhibits/bodyworldsvital.aspx

    My wife and daughters just got back from this thing. One of the bodies was of a runner. I am informed that it had deformed feet. And it apparently died of something.

  3. Happy Runner says:

    I would give you my lottery win too!!!

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