Longtime readers will recall that I’ve been using My Fitness Nazi to keep track of calories while trying to magically lose 20 pounds before race day. Although I like it so far, it has glitches. For instance.
Although it lists 3,250,000,000,000 foods, not among those is the Mrs. Baird’s Apple Fried Pie. I became a born-again Baptist many years ago just to ensure that in the unlikely event I die someday, I will get into heaven where undoubtedly they have vendos with Mrs. Baird pies. And the vendos accept dollar bills. Don’t make me spend eternity in a place that requires exact change.
I love the Mrs. Baird’s fried pie. It was a staple of my youth. Even though I can’t recall owning a stapler. When I was sidetracked to Arizona for 25 years or so, I was cut off. But like Lindsay Lohan on a party bus, the first thing I bought upon my triumphant return to Texas was, indeed, a fried pie. I’ve eaten at least a couple a week since. Don’t tell my cardiologist. Thank you.
So you will forgive me if I had one on the way to work today. It was, after all, Tuesday, which requires comfort food. When I went to dutifully enter it in my food log, I found nothing. I could use a substitute, I suppose, but that would demean the Mrs. Baird brand. What could I do?
In the end, I chose “Amish Strawberry Fry Pie.” Its caloric total is disturbingly high enough to go head to head with Mrs. Baird. And it’s a ridiculous amount of fun to say “Amish Strawberry Fry Pie.” Yes, I’m easily amused.
Bonus: There’s a chance this makes me an honorary member of the Amish community. I figure that if the whole Southern Baptist thing turns out to be a hoax and I find myself standing at the Pearly Gates staring at a guy who looks like the old guy in the Harrison Ford “Witness” movie, I’ll be covered.
You will be relieved to know that my late snack was a banana. Not an Amish one.
Healthy eating is not easy. Just 18 pounds to go …