The Great Fast Guy Mystery of 2012

Longtime readers will recall The Fast Guy. He’s a runner  I see all the time around the neighborhood and my usual running course. He runs about 300 miles a day. Long blonde ponytail, big sunglasses, super skinny, dark tan. Wears nothing but short shorts and a handheld. I’ve always assumed he was either serious marathoner or ultra guy.

Meanwhile, our favorite bartender at the bar down the street is an ultrarunner as well. I’ve never mentioned running to him. Our conversations are more along the lines of “What dark beers do you have today?” and  “You’re going to like this one.” Then he gives us samples that are pretty much a pint each. We love this guy. He tends to wear old nb 101s at work. We tip him a lot. But I’ve never seen him running.

So we’re driving to the gym today. Mo says, “There’s our bartender.” I say, “No, that’s The Fast Guy.” I’m amused that she has confused the two. But then. Maybe that IS him. The two look exactly alike. Same blonde ponytail. Same dark tan. Same super skinny. Except this guy always runs in road shoes. Maybe bartending requires trail shoes? Now I wonder.

Could it really be the same guy? I’ve seen them both a million times and never even considered that it might be the same person. Could a change of clothes and a pair of glasses really make him unrecognizable? And to think I mocked Lois Lane all those years.

Only one way to know for sure. We’re going to the bar tonight. I will bring along some big sunglasses. I will ask him to wear them, take off his shirt and pants, and run back and forth behind the bar in his boxers. Then we will know.

I wonder what the proper gratuity  is for that …

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About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
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One Response to The Great Fast Guy Mystery of 2012

  1. SeniorRunner says:

    Just stifle your curiosity and go with Mo’s take on the matter. That way you’ll spare yourself a ton of embarrassment and a possible trip to the hoosegow.

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