The problem with marathon expos is that you come home with a lot of free samples you end up eating in the middle of the night. It’s currently the middle of the night. I’m eating.

Our expo bag mimics the good old days of trick or treat. I used up the equivalent of the fun-size Snickers bar days ago. I’m down to the candy corn. Or in this case, the  Über Cherry Cobbler Lara Bar.

I like Lara bars OK. I burned out on them shortly after beginning the Gluten-Free Mambo, since there are only so many ways to present figs. But they mean well, and seem to come up with endless variations.

Tip-off the first: Using Über in the name. Only those in dire straits resort to this desperate sales ploy. Remember when Gomer Pyle left the Andy Griffith Show and they replaced him with gÜber? I rest my case.

Tip-off the second: Cherry cobbler. No, it’s NOT going to taste like cherry cobbler. It’s going to taste like figs. Still, it’s late. I’m desperate. And there doesn’t appear to be any leftover candy corn. I give it a try.

The verdict: It tastes like monkey butt. Don’t ask me how I know that. BK will have no part of it. We’re stuck with a creepy desert thing. This is JUST like the time we had to eat Dad’s cobbler at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. What to do? Innovate. I have an idea.

Half a can of Cool Whip later, we find ourselves with a taste treat. BK loves it. I love it. I’m not sure if the Lara Bar was even under there anywhere. But wow (as opposed to butt wow.) It was spectacular.

The moral: If you’re going to run with the Über Cherry Cobbler Lara Bar, pack Cool Whip. A lot of it.

The other moral: Floyd the Barber always seemed kind of  creepy to me. Über creepy …