Luigi and me

$49.99. What choice do I really have?

I need shoes. Actually, I don’t need shoes. I have about 200 pairs I still haven’t gotten around to wearing. I’ve been mostly saving them for a rainy day, and we’re in a drought.

But I’ve become smitten with the Tony Krupicka flapper-snappers, even if he DOES pronounce his name wrong. And the only pair I own are showing the tell-tale signs of overuse (Mo retching in the car on the way to the gym,) so the search was on.

Buy locally, you say. Can’t, I reply. Only store in town doesn’t carry them. Or even place them on shelves. Whatever. I go to the old standby, runningwarehouse. $69 something. But then I notice that the new model is coming out in February. How long could it be before the old model is marked down? I’m in.

But then I start to think. It’s never a good thing when I start to think. That’s how the “I wonder if I could jam my cranium into this Rudolph head if I forced it enough?” debacle came about.

What if they sell out? I seem to have the most popular shoe size on the planet, unless you count Antarctica, where all those penguins have tiny feet. I reallllly want to stockpile, and I could miss my chance. What to do?

Gdionelli suggests I buy off of eBay from a guy named Luigi. I fear a horse head in my shoe box if my Visa card falters.

Not to worry. Nordstrom’s (Nordstrom’s???) has them for $49!!!! Although they appear to have only size 4. Maybe they can be broken in? Sigh.

None of the legitimate go-to places have them on the cheap. But then.

Joe’s New Balance Outlet Store and Tire Repair comes through. $49.99. That’s less than $50 if my Jenster Math Camp Ciphering is correct. I googly the store and apparently they’ve never put out a mob hit on a customer, so I’m in.

But how many?

I want six pairs. I want so many of these damn shoes that I’ll never have to think about buying shoes again. I don’t think they’ll ever go bad (unless they break into Mo’s Nyquil stash), so what the heck.

But then I have the same internal argument as always. What happens when the even greater Only Shoe I’ll Ever Run In Again comes along? How many times have we played this game? But they’re only $49.95!!!!!!!!! And it’s not like they cost anything, really. You just type in somecredit-card numbers and hit send. Free!!!

In the end, I compromise. Two pairs. Enough to last the rest of my life, as long as I don’t live very long. I go to place the order.

BUT WAIT, JOE SAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have ordered enough that we’ll knock 25 percent off anything in the store! And free whitewalls!!!! How can I resist.

So I buy three pairs of shorts, which end up costing 11 bucks each. Mo keeps mentioning that all of my current shorts have holes in the crotch, and that is not a good thing when running in the neighborhood of a Catholic school.

I hit the confirm order button, only to find out I appear to have ordered three pairs of shoes and two pairs of shorts. Lucky thing I don’t type for a living.

So bottom line, I have a lot of shoes and some PG shorts and an image of penguins in tiny trainers. And all because gdionelli tried to sell my soul to the mob.

And I’ll never have to worry about shoes again.

Unless those Piranhas get discounted next week. Just $69.99? What choice do I really have. Um, Luigi ….?

About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
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