With running, there’s always the question: How badly do you want it? Along with the question, Hey, Mo, since you’re sleeping anyhow, can I eat your ice cream? Just snore if it’s a yes.
Both of these questions can bring great reward, and great pain. Which brings us to The Year of the Muskrat.
This contest is so laughably easy that I am chortling as I type this. Actually I’m not sure what a chortle sounds like, although I picture a Dr. Seuss character.
As usual in a Muskrat Challenge, a glorious ONE-OF-A-KIND COFFEE CAT MUG awaits you. And it’s only 12 easy steps away!!!
All of the following 12 challenges must be completed in the calendar year 2013. Any already completed in 2013 will count. Documentation required.
Here’s all you need to do!
1 — Awkward sideways hug with an elderly gentleman in Texas.
2 — 50 mile races.
3 — verses of “Muskrat Candlelight” in a karaoke setting, videotaped. Duet with Alice in Running Land highly encouraged but not mandatory.
4 — Beers consumed while running a Beer Mile. No time limit.
5 — Running events in costume.
6.2 — mile race pushing a wooden penguin in a baby stroller. Photo.
7 — people in a centipede in the race distance of your choice.
8 — hundred meters of open-water swimming with a watermelon. Melon can be attached to swimmer or can swim on its own. Can be done over multiple days for a total of 800 meters. (Non-swimmers can substitute 88 minutes of pool running with a watermelon.)
9 — tequila shots and somersaults within one hour of a marathon (any combination of the two is fine. Mo, a victim of bad tequila experiences, points out you can do ONE shot and EIGHT somersaults. Mo wants no fatailities. I am Switzerland).
10 — 5Ks. Or one 50k. Or 10 autographed photos of Mary Kay Olsen. Or 10 miles in a Mary Kay Cadillac. You get the idea.
11 — bowls of chili consumed with the Flying Matzes. Can be divvied up however you like. Any beans will be cause for disqualification. 30 minute time limit (chip time.)
12 — marathons. One with a mustache. One in which you whirl and you twirl and you tango. (note: these runs can be longer than marathons, i.e. a 50k would count, as long as they’re in addition to 50 milers and 50k above.)
That’s all!!!!!! I know, too easy. What’s the catch? There is none!!!!!! Progress reports and photos/videos along the way would be great. Just knock out the list before Dec. 31, and we’ll be sending you the first-ever Coffee Cat in a Marathon Maniac Shirt Mug. Nothing to it.
Year of the Muskrat. Good luck. And don’t call me Daddy-O …
Note: Because of the extreme ease of this challenge, mugs will be limited to the first 20 people to successfully complete the tasks. Sorry.