subway lady: What veggies would you like?
me: Lettuce and pickles.
Subway lady puts three onion things on top of the lettuce and pickles. I recoil.
me: No onions.
Subway lady smiles and puts three more onion things on top.
me: Um, no onions.
Subway lady, less amused, puts three more onion things on top. We now have assembled an onion sandwich. I breathe deeply.
me: Excuse me. I don’t like onions. Please stop putting them on my sandwich.
Subway lady: Oh. I thought you were saying “more onions.” She grudgingly takes them off.
me: Thank you. (See? I am polite even in a crisis.)
The sandwich, already tainted, smells like onions while I eat it. As I type this the next morning, I am still having flashbacks.
I have no idea how much paid these people to stage this stunt. But it was money well spent …