My new gym has a LOT of treadmills. Think of it this way. If you took all the treadmills in my gym and put them in a row going down the Grand Canyon’s Bright Angel Trail, you’d have a bunch of mules walking in place every morning until the mule pee burned up the motors. Don’t ask.
It’s the first week of my little corner of heaven, so there aren’t many customers yet. And apparently in my small town, people have this Saturday tradition of Actually Doing Stuff, so the place was empty. Maybe four or five people lifting weights, two college students having a giggle-off on the stair steppers, and one woman running. ON MY TREADMILL!!!
I auditioned the TMs earlier in the week, judging them on speed, reliability, ability to get the Hallmark channel, a short swimsuit competition and their response to the question: “How can we solve world hunger with gerbil wheels?” the winner is the second tm from the right on the first row. It looks not unlike the other 230 treadmills in the place, but this one is different. IT’S MINE!!! And yet, there she was.
What are the mathematical odds of one person picking one treadmill from 230 choices? Where’s Jenster when you need her? Likely in a conga line with Mr. Penguin. Unless that was a rhetorical question.
What to do? Unfortunately, they have the cords rigged in such a way that you can’t unplug them without removing a cover, and the guys at the desk wouldn’t let me have a screwdriver. Nor would they agree to agree to make my suggested “Would the woman on the treadmill please get the hell off” announcement over the PA.
So I did the only thing I could do. No, NOT just use another tm that’s exactly the same. Have we not me? Hi, I’m Gary. No, I just sat there and waited, staring intently and glancing at my watch periodically. FINALLY, after what seemed like five minutes but in reality was likely only 4 1/2, she got off. I jumped on even as she was trying to clean off the sweat. Clean off the sweat??? I had it broken in just so.
In the end, worth the wait. Another day of hills. I think that’ll be the routine on non-easy days. Non-easy days being those designated as hard workouts, or days when someone has commandeered my TM.
Oh, well. I guess you have to learn to share. I promise to be more understanding in the future.
I just hope nobody takes off my homemade “out of order” sign …