We’ve been staying with Dad for a few days. He has a lot of food and an automatic coffee maker. What more could you ask for in life?
He’s a creature of habit, my dad. The alarm and coffee pot go off every day at 6 a.m., but it generally takes him about an hour to get moving. We Smith Boys are slow starters. Which still doesn’t explain why MY slow start begins at 2 p.m. But still.
I woke up today at 7 a.m., the usual time, and the house was still quiet and dark. Had a cup of coffee, checked the latest twitter updates on Miley Cyrus twerking, and sat listening to the silence. It’s odd for the house to be so silent. But we’ll adjust. Not much choice.
Then it struck me. 7:30 and Dad still isn’t up? I got worried. The guy’s a metronome. Why would he still be asleep? Was he OK? It’s been an impossibly hard week for him. I went to investigate.
There he was, still in bed. Curled up on his side. The country music station that serves as his alarm was playing gently in the background. He wasn’t moving.
I walked around the bed quietly. Leaning over for a closer look, I bent over slowly … and jabbed him in the ribs.
He jumped what appeared to be about 8 feet in the air.I’m not sure if there are formal records kept for this, but this was truly medal-worthy. I’m fairly certain there’s an indentation of him in the ceiling over the bed.
Hi! I said. Just wanted to make sure you were OK. He assured me he had been until a moment ago, and was doing what he referred to as “sleeping.”
My error: His beloved Rangers are playing on the West Coast, keeping him up past midnight and making 7 a.m. a bit too early to wake up. So don’t blame me, blame the boys in blue for running up the score and making it a late game.
I think he has gone back to sleep now. Likely to dream of a happier time before his annoying son moved in.
The Rangers play late again tonight. Maybe we’ll try it again tomorrow morning …
epilogue: Dad and I were drinking coffee after he woke up, and I wanted to show him how face time works on the iPhone, but I couldn’t find Mo’s phone. So I called it. As it turns out, it was underneath Mo in bed with her. She and the Baby Kat also bounced off the ceiling.
I am not very popular this morning …