The Great Sabrina Little Fiasco of 2013®

They say Twitter is the root of all evil. Or maybe just Bangle says it. But he’s way faster than me. I should have listened.

It started out innocently enough, as Hallmark movies always do. I follow Sabrina Little in the Twittersphere. Ultra junkies know she’s a phenomenal runner — 1st at Rocky Raccoon 100 last year, national champion in the 24-hour run, 2nd place at world’s. Great blog. And a fellow Texan.

A few days ago, she wrote this on her Twitterland page:

“There’s no such thing as having too much love, except  for love of margarine, and I have that.”

She likes margarine!!! It was the perfect quote for a guy whose humble little blog goes by the same name. I couldn’t have been happier. Until.

My inner copy editor (which is also my outer copy editor) started analyzing the quote. “except for love of margarine.” Does that mean she can’t love margarine too much? Or she doesn’t love it at all? Does she have too much margarine? I couldn’t decipher it.

So I wrote her to ask.

I posted a twitter question to her. The problem being, it only allows for 140 characters, not including SpongeBob and Patrick. And the @xxxxxxxx address thing takes up a bunch of them. So I was reduced to saying something to the effect of “ARE YOU FOR MARGARINE OR AGAINST?” Which, instead of a heartfelt plea from a fan trying to clear up confusion over a dream, sounded like a threat from the dairy industry.

A day went by. Maybe two. Maybe just a couple of hours. It’s hurricane season here, so we’re busy stockpiling Oreos. Priorities, you know.

I eventually gave up, and killed the tweet. That’s what the cool kids call it, you know.

And then.

I got a message back from her. It said simply:

“I’m neutral about butter and all its sisters.”

I’m not sure what that means. Probably something along the lines of “leave me alone, weird person.” Still. A personal message from Sabrina Little.  This is right up there with Justin BeeBee playing at grennick’s bar mitzvah.

I tried to write back and explain why I was asking, that it had to do with a blog name and not a grassroots movement to bring back oleo. But again, the 140-character thing reduced to something like rxxg x11marg. @!!D.  I’m not really a 140-character guy.

So that was that. I expect our next correspondence will be in the form of a restraining order later in the day. But still. A restraining order from a national champion. What more could you ask for?

Anyhow, thanks, Sabrina. Sorry if I caused you concern. Congratulations on your incredible string of races and that cute-as-a-button hubby. I hope you continue to run strong and healthy and land a major sponsorship with Parkay.

And maybe could you consider dropping the restraining order before the spring Tejas Trail Races? I need some redemption at Nueces. Thanks.

your fan
gary (and no, i don’t care for margarine)

About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
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1 Response to The Great Sabrina Little Fiasco of 2013®

  1. JustaJester says:

    Truly fascinating!
    I went to the internet in a futile attempt to learn where Ms. Little stands on my particular fave, Smart Balance. For some reason, Mr. Google thought I might wish to learn about Sabrina Small and Sabrina Young. Miss Small is a rather well known artist, and Miss Young is a talented composer.
    Regettably, however, I know nothing about how they stand on the seminal issue of buttery spreads.


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