Longtime readers will recall Mo’s recent encounter with her first childhood boyfriend, a guy named Smokey the Bear.

It was an innocent enough encounter. Pleasantries exchanged, awkward sideways hug, quick photo. Mo walked away assured that she was still his true love.

Until.

Recently it has been called to our attention that Smokey has been passing the time during his government-imposed furlough in the company of fast women.

Granted, two of them had just run 94.1 miles (the first 94 are easy. it’s that last tenth that bites you in the butt) through mountains, muck, mud and many other words that start with the letter M that I’m too tired to think of right now. And the other has run 39,225 miles in the past nine months. And they’re all wearing green, the siren song of the National Park Service. But still, Smokey. Show some restraint. Have you no shame? Bambi’s watching over in the corner.

Oh, well. at least one of them had the courtesy to close her eyes and pretend the entire incident wasn’t happening.

Sorry, Mo. Probably better to know now than to carry a torch for a guy who just wants to put out fires.

Back to your backup boyfriend, Matt Damon …