The treadmill is my friend. I call it Mr. Treadmill. It calls me Give Me 10 Bucks A Month So That You Can Show Up Twice A Year You Sissy Boy And Would It Kill You to Wipe Me Down?

OK, it’s a crappy friend. If you want to be my friend, I’ll pay you 10 bucks a month. But don’t make me run on the treamill. Thank you.

And no, I will not wipe you down.