As it turns out, when your car battery starts taking longer and longer and longer to turn over, it might not be a good sign.

And then it’s dead. The perfect way to spend a November morning. I call the nice AAA guy. He comes out with two gizmos. He runs them both for about five minutes, then hands me a long piece of paper. The conclusion? My battery’s dead. Um, thanks.

He goes to check if he has a toy battery for an ’88 honda. Indeed he does. $120 later, I’m back in business.

Although annoying, I’m relieved. A nasty cold front is supposed to come in the next day. Better to deal with it now. Happy ending.

And then.

Driving to work, I realize all the radio presets are gone. I start searching for the sports station, and stumble upon a mournful country song. It’s an AM Americana/Texas/roots music station I didn’t know existed. Song after song is just perfect, in that pickup truck and dog sort of vibe. “We’re as Texan as pecan pie,” the announcer says. Indeed.

If my battery hadn’t gone dead, I would never have found it. I rejoice in my bad luck.

The next day, the cold front comes through. I drive to work through the dark, gloomy blanket of a day that makes me wish I owned a jacket. After another pleasant 11-hour shift, I drag out at midnight. It’s terribly cold. The wind is blowing at 20 mph. The wind chill is somewhere around -200. I get in the car, thanking The Battery Gods that it went dead yesterday rather than today.

I put on my seat belt. I stick the key in the ignition and turn it over, to the joyful sound of

nothing.

As it turns out, you shouldn’t leave your lights on for 11 hours, even if it’s a brand new battery. Who knew?

I call Mo, who is sound asleep. Fifteen minutes later, she arrives in her Iditarod parka, still sound asleep. We jump the battery, it works fine, we drive home.

I find the country station again as I’m driving. This will make the perfect country song.

My wife done left me
had to get out of bed
She went and tried to kill me
cause my battery was dead

I’m going to miss her. I should probably get a pickup. And a dog. I hope he has jumper cables.

Life is funny …