head: why do you keep doing that?

me: what?

head: you duck every time we go under that branch.

me: I don’t want to hit it.

head: you won’t hit it. it’s clearly tall enough that you don’t need to bend over. bending over is a lot of work.

me: sorry.

head, one loop later: you did it again.

me: what?

head: you ducked as you went under that branch. Every time we do this loop, it’s the same thing. duck, duck, duck. you must have incredible neck muscles at this point.

me: I didn’t want to hit it.

head: you, sir, are an idiot. can’t you see that you can make it with room to spare? stop being such a justin bieber.

me: sorry.

head, one loop later: Come on, you coward.

me: seriously, i don’t think it’ll work. I’m just a little too tall. we’ll never make it.

head: we’ll make it, we’ll make it!!

me: duck. sorry.

head, one loop later: do it, you coward. DO IT!!!!! DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!!!

me: OK.

Branch: WHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

head: hey, that hurt. why didn’t you duck?

me: sorry.

the moral: when listening to the doobie brothers on spotify, stick with the toulouse street album as to avoid michael mcdonald. and when in doubt, duck.