the day i began to sympathize with sony

ladle

I have read with disinterest the story of Sony vs. Kim Jung Mini Me. I figure if you make a satire about assassinating a crazy foreign leader, you deserve whatever you get. The end.

And then.

I realized that long before it became trendy, I was blowing up his dad.

It started out innocently enough. I came into possession of two Day-Glo Orange Lightweight Racing Soup Ladles © (anything else is just a big spoon.) They had magical powers installed during a visit by El Señor, ensuring that anyone who ran with them would set a personal record, or at least get a race photo of a weirdo with an orange spoon.

After an elaborate contest (basically “um, who wants a ladle?”), they were delivered to their new homes. One went to upstate New York to live a quiet life with a marmot.

The other was to be a traveling fool, going from runner to runner in an international goodwill tour. The first stop was to a soldier somewhere in the world. He couldn’t tell me where for security reasons. “Just address it Somewhere Scary,” he said. As if the Postal Service looks at the address anyhow.

It went great. We got photos of him in a race in the desert, ladle triumphantly overhead. Mission accomplished.

And then it got weird.

He mailed it to Pochero, mythical creator of the Pikermi, who lives in South Freakin’ Korea. But it never arrived.

Naturally, I suspected the Evil Kim Jung Il of intercepting it. Which could mean only thing: This was a job for Mohawk Boy.

The epic story was dutifully reported. There was an implication that the Evil Kim had met his maker. Jeez, it was just a joke. And that was that.

Until.

I noticed today for the millionth time that someone had read that story on my blog.

Why would somebody be calling up a 2011 post?

And then I remembered Kim Jung Mini Me’s reaction to his demise in that movie.

And my computer has been getting slower and slower and slower.

Clearly, I am being targeted by the dark side.

As a good American, what can you do?

Send me a dollar. We can’t let the bad guys win. Plus, I can buy a Medium Chocolate Frosty.

Do it for Mohawk Boy. I’ll go wait by the mailbox.

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About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
This entry was posted in running and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to the day i began to sympathize with sony

  1. Bubbles McGillicutty says:

    Can I just send you a Wendy’s gift card? I’ll include enough so that you, Mo, and Kim Jung Mini Me can have the Great Medium Chocolate Frosty Convention of 2015.

  2. JustaJester says:

    Ah, yes… The pic is from Phoenix, 2010, I believe, when you still had both ladles in your possession. That double-ladle power surge propelled SeniorRunner to a sub-2:00 in the next day’s P.F. Chang Half Marathon, good for 4th out of 51 in the 70-74 AG.

  3. jenster says:

    It was me. Col Cannon is in SFK on “business” and I figured he was important enough to organize a mission to find it. I couldn’t remember the official name (I didnt wanna be responsible for a drone attack on an innocent family because they just happened to have a Day-Glo Orange Racing Soup Ladle © and it was mistaken for our own Day-Glo Orange Lightweight Racing Soup Ladles ©).

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