i have this theory that all you really need in life is a good 4-mile run and a winnebago full of tapioca.

the problem is that whenever i hear “winnebago,” i think of winnie cooper. how the hell did kevin arnold waste his entire wonder years with someone who clearly was never interested in him except in times of duress? the solution? MADELINE ADAMS!!!!! dear god. winnie is off at another school. madeline is madly in love with kevin. why would he stick with winnie cooper over madeline? or cara? or cindy? or jessica (NOTE TO KEVIN THAT’S ALICIA SILVERSTONE, YOU MORON!) or even becky slater, who punches him out when she discovers he’s using her to make winnie jealous. you have to admire a girl who will punch you out. but, noooooooo kevin waits on the totally unappreciative winnie cooper, who in the end dumps him and marries someone else anyhow.  WHAT THE HELL WAS YOUR PROBLEM KEVIN ARNOLD YOU MORON????!!!!!!! WHY WINNIE?

other than, of course, she always seemed like she would make a great runner.

rum, see? i should probably not have a winnebago. too much emotional baggage from my high school years. besides, i couldn’t actually get in it because it would be full of tapioca. which would be delightful at first but eventually would expire, leading to an endless series of taste test tuesdays, seeing just how far you can push tapioca expiration dates before death sets in. oh, who are we kidding? i’d eat it all the first day, making me violently ill and unable to run 4 miles anyhow.

in summary:

1. winnie cooper sucks.
2. too much tapioca is bad. very bad.
3. 4 miles, jesus etc.  (11:09 minute miles, fueled by a burning wonder years rage)

no worries. i’ll get by with a little help from my friends. or maybe an airstream. mostly i want some tapioca.