Longtime readers will recall my love for the E Street Band. Longtime being a couple of days ago. So it should come as no surprise that I am totally smitten with the New Balance Zantes.  Steven Van Zante, of course, being the longtime guitarist for Sprinsteen and all. Not actually all, just Springsteen.

So when they went on sale, I bought another pair to replace the tasteful gray shoes that have been my faithful companions for the past few months. The trouble: They’re neon green. Not just neon green, but NEON GREEN. When people see these shoes, they think FAST. The problem being, of course, that I am the opposite of fast. What to do?

While in the studio with Mo, I presented her with the shoes. She pulled out her Sharpie and drew what surely is synonymous with running, two cats. Why cats? Because that’s what I drew, she said. Why Poe and Moe, I asked. Because that’s their names, she said.

And just like that, I went from the appearance of Fast Runner to the appearance of 6-Year-Old Girl.

Upside: Total domination of the 5- 10-year-old age group in races.

Downside: Who am I kidding? There are 6-year-old girls here who can crush me like Malibu Barbie’s jeep driving over my foot. Which sadly happens once a week or so on the sidewalk here.

Maybe things will change once Mo finishes the My Little Pony singlet. Racing is harder than they make it out to be in the brochures.  

If you would like Mo to create original artwork on your shoes (for free! it’s Christmas, you know!) just send your unworn size 10 1/2 men’s shoes (no newtons, please) to our place. no need for a return address.