time may change me
but i can’t trace time
— the prophet bowie
—

Some things aren’t supposed to happen.

it was 1983. i had been living in austin for a couple of years after moving there from a little town in west texas. i guess i had seen a couple of big shows in the first couple of years there (ummm, what were you thinking with that Trans tour, mr. young?), but then. Bowie was coming to town with the serious moonlight tour.

David Fucking Bowie. he was the most enigmatic artist of my generation. a chameleon. Ziggy. the Thin White Duke. and now he was going to be hanging out for an evening down the street. 

i entrusted the ticket chore to a friend who assured me she could get great seats. upon arrival at the superdrum, the great seats turned out to be way up in the upper level. but i had brought binoculars, and she had brought some really good pot. funny how things work out.

it was an incredible show. i don’t know of a performer who is more mesmerizing.  it’s one of the best shows i ever had the privilege of attending.

i left, wanting more, content in the knowledge this wouldn’t be a problem because he would live forever.

and then, he didn’t.

we were indestructible in those days. all the young dudes. and then we became old dudes.

i just saw that he died. cancer. always goddamn cancer. i’ve been crying since. i’m not even sure why.

maybe because he was more important to me than i realized. maybe because this reminds me those days are gone. or maybe this is the one that assures me i’m a goner. we’re all going to die. even david bowie. even me.

it’s 2 a.m. and i’m listening to ziggy and the spiders from mars. dark room, pleasantly drunk. rock n roll the way it was meant to be. you’re never too old to listen.

i’m sorry i didn’t make it to blackstar before you were gone, mr. bowie. but i’m glad i never figured out what exactly the hell you were doing over the years. life needs more mystery. i’m glad you were part of mine.

i’ll run this week with all bowie all the time. because the music never, ever dies. if you say run, i’ll run with you. why did i never notice that?

and whenever i hear let’s dance, i will, even though i don’t. never too late to put on your red shoes and dance the blues.

because. David Fucking Bowie.