“are you gay?”

i pause for a moment to consider the ramifications of my answer. this is my wife asking. is she thinking this would be a good thing or a bad thing? will this possibly open me up for a softer age group in future races? whatever happened to the teletubbies? i loved that show. only one thing to do: stall.

“um, what do you mean?”

“you’re watching hallmark movies again,” she points out. i consider the “just happened to be on this channel” defense, but i am dying to discuss why that full house actor still sucks 20 years later. so i go with my only possible defense:

“i’m not gay. i’m a girl.”

and that was that. after all, i still don’t know the hand signs to YMCA. and ani is a happily married heterosexual, so i think i’m safe. or something.

and yes, dammit, i like hallmark movies. they’re safe. nobody’s head gets cut off, nobody is kidnapped, nothing is blown up. only the suspense of finding out whether the spunky heroine will choose the well-meaning but incredibly dull accountant she’s about to marry, or the dirt-poor cowboy with the heart of gold she has secretly fallen in love with. you never know. you never know with hallmark movies. always a nail-biter.

maybe that’s why i ended up a runner. you don’t need to beat anyone. there’s no crushing or smashing or humiliating the other competitors. there’s no winner or loser. only you doing your best against that little voice that wants you to quit. the woman in front of you is the winner. so are you. so is the person behind you. and everyone else on the course. running is the hallmark movie of sporting events.

today was an hour run at easy pace. everything felt fine after the race. a few creaks, but nothing to worry about. and now i have something to aspire to: run like a girl. can’t wait to debut my running skirt …