I got a thing or two to say
Before I walk on by
I’m feeling good today
But if die a little farther along
I’m trusting everyone to carry on
— the prophet jackson browne

—

I’ve been on this ride before. I remember sitting in this exact spot. I recall this feeling in my gut.

I’m peeking over the top of the car, staring into the abyss. It’s terrifying, in a no alternative here i am check the safety belt breathe deeply stop thinking no turning back sort of way.

It’s going to be OK, i tell myself. Myself is skeptical. But what else can you do? The boards are creaking underneath me, the car is at the top. It’s all a matter of gravity at this point.

You spend so much time riding that safe little carousel. Your only worries are choosing which seat. Horse? Tiger? Lion? Ups and downs free of drama. Life is so easy to take for granted.

And then here you are, on the ride you hoped would never come again.

But it did. Breathe deep, hang on, fight the urge to scream like a little girl. What goes down must come up, right? It’s going to be OK. It must.

I close my eyes, clinch my teeth, take a deep breath and feel the wind in my face. It’s going to be OK, I tell myself one last time. It’s going to be OK. It’s going to be OK.

Life is funny …