I’m not giving in an inch to fear
‘Cause I’ve promised myself this year
— the prophet david crosby
me: YOU GOT A BIG BOY HAIRCUT!!!
doctor: I’m about to turn 61. I thought it was time.
doctor: I find that the only people who have a problem with it are old hippies. Do you have a problem with it?
me: Nah. You look very doctorly now.
doctor: This makes me want to sing Crosby, Stills and Nash. I didn’t, and I don’t know why …
me: I feel like letting my freak bag fly.
doctor: Freak flag.
me: Are you sure?
me: What does that even mean?
doctor: I think you had to be high to get it.
me: oh. How’s the cycling?
doctor: good. How’s the running?
me: OK, I guess.
doctor: So I get a message from my nurse saying this guy called in a panic and wants to start chemo. What the hell?
me: I just got worried.
doctor: I’m looking at your PET scan, your CT scan and your bloodwork and there’s nothing wrong. What’s your problem?
me: I’m having a hard time running. I keep getting slower.
doctor: so you want chemo because it might help your running?
me: ummm, sort of.
doctor: It won’t. You’re getting old. You slow down. I’ll get some more blood tests and see if it’s something else. Otherwise, just keep doing what you’re doing. If I were you I’d wait as long as possible, as long as you get it done before Medicare. Figure you’ll have a job for a few more years?
me: Heck, yeah. I’m a journalist, you know. The industry is booming. So I should just wait?
doctor: Look. I’m not paid on commission so I get the same amount of money either way. I’m just saying there’s no reason to do it. It would probably make your running worse.
me: And anyhow they don’t upgrade Garmins that much anymore. So you don’t need more money.
me: OK, thanks. False alarm. Sorry I made fun of your hair.
doctor: Wow. You’re still wearing those shoes?
me: Yes. And your hair looks goofy.
doctor: Get out of my office. See you in three months.
me: Thanks. See ya.