Local running stores. I totally get it.

◙ The first woman I was ever intimate with was the manager of the local running store. Great discounts.

◙ I learned how to tie The Perfect Knot from a guy at the local running store.

◙ I would religiously go in every week to survey the little rack where races would put their entry blanks.

◙ I spent countless hours fighting my total fear of interacting with another human so that I could try on shoes till I found the right one.

◙ I have run many races either sponsored or co-sponsored by the local running store.

They’re essential. We must support them or they will die. And my favorite running store is in central Phoenix, a place that seemed far away when I lived in the suburbs, but now is just down the road from where I work. An easy stop on the way to save the world each day.

I solemnly vow to go there more often. Or ever. Or something.

But the sad truth is, they’re not essential at all. We now have unlimited online race calendars, comparison shopping and expert reviews, free two-day shipping and prices that are indicative of the difference between running a national site online vs. a small brick-and-mortar store.

I want to support them. I really do.

But then, the Zante 3 just got marked down to 48 bucks on running warehouse. With the flotrack secret discount (it’s a secret, so please don’t tell anyone), that’s 43 bucks for my favorite shoes. Sure, I will die before I go through all 50 pairs, but what the heck. Maybe they will establish a Homeless Guy Shoe Society in my name.

I totally lament the demise of stores in the age of the internet. But I also lament it’s the last season of “The New Girl.” You can’t stop what you can’t stop.

Please, please, please support your local running store. And maybe buy something expensive in my honor. I and my 43 dollar shoes will thank you.