conversations with my doctor, part 2

doctor: How are you?

me: Fine.

doctor: How much are you running?

me: Oh, about 4 miles on good days.

doctor: Tell him (student who’s shadowing him) how much you used to run.

me:  A lot, I guess.

doctor: That’s probably how you ended up here.

me. Not as bad as cycling.

doctor: No kidding. I still can’t feel the right side of my face. Tore it off in a crash.

me: Cyclists are weird.

doctor: What’s the deal with running prices? My wife was in a Spartan race this weekend. 100 bucks each and there were a million people. What are they doing with all that money?

me: Yeah, it’s getting crazy.

doctor: And RAGNAR! I have a couple friends who just did that. You have to supply all your own stuff. They’re just there to take your money.

me: Yeah, marathons are ridiculous now too.

doctor: What’s the Muskrat 2020 on the shirt?

me: Run 4 miles while eating a pie. No entry fee. Had to buy my own pie.

doctor: I know the guy who holds the Arizona record for the beer mile. Those people are crazy.

me: Yeah. All about the speed-drinking.

doctor: And running a 400 with four beers in you. Insane.

me: For sure. But I don’t think they charge entry fees.

doctor: I won a state championship so now my bike shop is paying for my entry fees.

me: what shop?

doctor: Two-Wheel Jones.

me: huh. I was always a Landis guy.

doctor: Yeah, I went to Landis when I lived in Scottsdale.

me: Cycling is too expensive. With running, all you need is a pie.

doctor: I’m scheduling you for a colonoscopy and an endoscopy at the same time. You’ll enjoy it. That way they can use the same probe. They just wipe it off under their arm.

me: Thanks.

doctor: Don’t get the berry flavor for the stuff you drink the night before. Won’t mix with vodka at all.

me: OK.

doctor: See ya.

me: See ya.

I hope Blue Cross never finds out what goes on during my doctor visits …

About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
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4 Responses to conversations with my doctor, part 2

  1. wanderwolf says:

    where can I find a doctor like yours?

  2. pscapp says:

    One time I went to see my Doctor. He said ” Phil”, cause that’s my real name, he said, ” Phil, no one ever comes in here and says I feel great. No, it’s always this hurts or that hurts or isn’t there a pill I can take so nothing hurts anymore”? I have to agree – being a doc an probably be pretty depressing sometimes.

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