I am hanging out with my brother at the hospital. He is four years younger than me. He has just gone through bypass surgery, so he doesn’t look that great. I, on the other hand, am freshly showered, well slept, and thoroughly adorable.

The nurse walks in. She looks at Mike. She looks at me.

And says to him, “so this must be your father!”

Yes, Mike says, yes he is.

I feel sort of bad about unplugging his life support to plug in my phone charger. But I’m sure I’ll get over it. He was a good son …