Well, sure. I was curious. Would those new Nike shoes make me faster?

They were touted as being significantly better than the competition. A Fancy Pants Patent (US No. 3783750) protected the technology from interlopers, whatever an interloper is. And they Just Looked Fast.

They were pricey, yes, but then all good things are. Except maybe bananas. How can bananas be so cheap?

I drank the Kool-Aid, or possibly Gatorade, and tried them on. They felt OK. Maybe a little narrow for my feet, but built for speed. I couldn’t wait to try them out. So I didn’t wait.

A lot of the biggest names in running were wearing them. And I could see why. They were fast. Really fast. Throw away the shoes I had been running in fast. I was hooked.

You can’t compete with Nike. You can either run in them or lose. I managed to do both. But they’re my favorite shoes of all time.

Of course, that was 1979, and I guess shoes have changed a little since then. But returning to these guys after 40 years is like going home to the Pink Floyd “Dark Side” album, minus the brownies. I bet I could run faster with brownies. It was a time when shoes were just shoes and running was just running and DMSO horse liniment was the most exotic illegal drug you could obtain. Get off my lawn, damn kids.

Carbon plates? ZoomX foam? Meh. I prefer waffles for breakfast.