just another fish conversation

It’s the Kingfish, the Kingfish
Friend of the working man!
It’s the Kingfish, the Kingfish
The Kingfish gonna save this land!
— the prophet randall stuart newman

fish: Hey.

me: Hey.

(editor’s note: we’re both guys. this is how guys talk.)

fish: How are those drugs from the last procedure working out for you?

me: Pretty good, I guess. I’m talking to a fish.

fish: What are you here for?

me: An Ultrasound Biopsy. Because a mere Sound Biopsy doesn’t seem exotic enough. It’s a distance running thing. Ultras, you know. But I’m guessing you’re more of a swimmer.

fish: Tanks a lot. So long, ladies and germs. Be sure to tip the check-in desk people. I’ll be here all week.

me: I can’t wait for your big fin-ish.

fish: Whatever. So did Kingfish Trump concede yet? We don’t get a lot of news in here.

me: This is the only spot in the Mayo Clinic Hospital and Discount Discoteca where there’s no phone reception, but surely he must have by now. He IS a fair and reasonable guy. Wow, these ARE great drugs. Thanks, Mayo! And they put in a fish tank here so we have something to watch while we wait.

fish: Actually, they put in a waiting room here so the fish would have something to watch. In addition to no phone reception, we can only get basic cable.

me: You have no idea how lucky you are. If being trapped in a fish tank for your entire life can be considered lucky. And I’m fairly certain it cannot.

fish: While you’re waiting, I have a question. I don’t get to talk to people often. I heard tomorrow is Fish Friday. Is that some sort of holiday in which we’re honored?

me: Um …………….. Dang, they just called my name. Gotta go.

fish: Well, get luck with that biopic thing. Hopefully this scene’s portrayal in the movie will be more dramatic than this. Please consider casting Laurence Fishburne to portray me. So will you know the results today?

me: Thanks. No, not until Tuesday or so. The best biopics are cliffhangers. And thanks for the conversation. Will you be OK here?

fish: Yeah, I’m good. Some guy named Gill is going to help me and my pal Nemo break out. Lake Havasu, here I come. I hope fish are exempt from the mask rule.

me: This is Arizona. There IS no mask rule. Blame the Kingfish.

And they lived happily ever after. At least until Fish Friday.

About gary

no sock monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.
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