“When you make plans,
then you have expectations,
and when you have expectations …
you will get disappointed.”
— the prophet luke danes
—

You have that One Thing You’ll Never Have to Worry About. How many chances in life do you have for One Thing You’ll Never Have to Worry About?

And then.

“What we meant to say was that the thing we agreed to will instead be something entirely different,” the email reads. And with that, everything changed.

Back to the drawing board. This is mildly disturbing, because I don’t actually have a drawing board. I have a desk with a piece of paper on it that I suppose I could draw on, but whenever I have the urge to draw I follow the prophet lebowitz’s advice and eat something sweet instead.

Why can’t life make sense? Why can’t things ever be easy? Why isn’t it Jan. 21 yet? Why can’t I think about Muppet babies without conjuring up the process that created them?

And that was the non-Hallmark movie end of Boy Meets Shoe, Boy Loses Shoe, Boy Gets Shoe Again.

You say “How are you.” I say I don’t know.
Let’s dissolve the band, move to Idaho.

Never have expectations. That’s the lesson. And maybe don’t depend on life philosophies from old “Gilmore Girls” episodes.

But mostly, never trust running shoe companies. Or muppets.