After a trip to the doctor to get her stitches removed:

4 p.m.: “I think I’m OK without a pain pill.”

4:30 p.m.: “Maybe I’ll try half of a pain pill.”

5:00 p.m.: “I would like the other half of the pain pill.”

5:30 p.m.: “I want a second pain pill.”

6:00 p.m.: “Give me the entire bottle of pain pills or I will hack you up and stuff you down the garbage disposal.”

At some point she will figure out that actual pain pills don’t come out of a Pez dispenser, but it’s funny in the meantime.

Upside: Commemorative Pez dispenser when this is finally over.

Downside: She’s likely to get hooked on Pez. And she’ll have to deal with a clogged garbage disposal.