Tag Archives: dick cheney smells funny

mister pants, part 9

I want my records back and that motorcycle gas tank that I spray painted black The owls have been talking to me But I’m sworn to secrecy — the prophet linkous And that was the day Mister Pants realized: He … Continue reading

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mister pants, part 8

Let’s go down together down together down together let’s go down — the prophet roger clyne It was the dawn after another evening of maddening chaos. Mister Pants had shut down most retail business in Kentucky and Delaware the previous … Continue reading

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mister pants, part 7

I think I’m done gunnin’ to get closer to some imaginary bliss I gotta knuckle down and be OK with this — the prophet ani difranco This would be perfect, Mister Pants thought. With school closed for the foreseeable future, … Continue reading

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mister pants, part 6

One day I’ll own my own house, but I won’t forget who I am or where I came from. Passing bums will ask, Can I come in? I’ll offer them the attic, ask them to stay, because I know how … Continue reading

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mister pants, part 5

“Life is a memory, and then it is nothing.” — Cormac McCarthy Working from home has its advantages: unlimited paletas. But Mister Pants sometimes missed the old days, when a wonky computer just meant a call to the sixth floor … Continue reading

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mister pants, part 4

“I’m back in Maine now. I don’t know for how long. Wash your hands. Protect yo’ heart.” — Jennifer Finney Boylan He thought back to those carefree days when you could buy stuff. When soup was still a thing. Toilet … Continue reading

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mister pants, part 3

Then the worst case scenario came to him. What if Ernie Pook never came? The last time Mister Pants had heard from him, he was somewhere between San Luis Obispo and Atlanta. What if he was left  standing on a … Continue reading

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