Tag Archives: oompa loompas

morning observations, part 1

■ As it turns out, you do NOT have to add water to the oatmeal before cooking. It’s merely a suggestion. ■ I am always vaguely disappointed when I wake up with a hangover and there’s not a baby and a tiger … Continue reading

Posted in margarine | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

willie, fiona and me

What i need is a good defense ‘Cause I’m feeling like a criminal — the prophet fiona apple — My life is flashing before my eyes. It’s one of those budget kung-fu movies, roughly translated into English where the dialogue … Continue reading

Posted in margarine | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

and don’t get me started on his converse all-star band

Hello, fellow conspiracy theorists. I’m sure we’re all a bit shocked by the sudden demise of Chuck Berry, inventor of those simple basketball shoes with the little round logo. I must admit I never owned a pair, or even rented … Continue reading

Posted in running | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

living with an artist, part 14

It’s late. I’m hungry. I want a Little Something. And there’s a cupcake in the fridge. Except it’s not a cupcake. It’s a still life subject.  Mo paints cupcakes. I suspect it’s because when you paint fruit, all you have … Continue reading

Posted in margarine | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

talk like a pirate yin/yang

yin: i find myself at the home depot, not even having realized i was lost. mo is buying spray paint to support her habit, so i’m wandering aimlessly. until i see it. it’s parked in front of the store. not … Continue reading

Posted in margarine, running | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

just another work conversation, part 28

me: i don’t think it’s safe that all the copy editors are sitting next to each other today. what if there’s a bomb? the entire rim would be wiped out. co-worker 1: maybe you should spread out across the room. … Continue reading

Posted in margarine | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Great Pants Scare of 2016

i’m putting on my pants. i have done this many times, so i don’t give it much thought. until. as i secure my belt, i feel something in my left pants leg. it’s big. it’s creepy.  AND IT’S MOVING AROUND. … Continue reading

Posted in margarine | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment