Tag Archives: oompa loompas

why i hate the coronado track’s rules

■ No spikes longer than 1/4 inch are allowed. ■ No gum or sunflower seeds are allowed. ■ No tobacco products are allowed. ■ No food or drinks are allowed. ■ No unaccompanied penguins are allowed. ■ No wheeled vehicles … Continue reading

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TGAEo2019 Day 3

Mo’s Uncle David is perhaps the coolest guy on the planet not named Clooney. And that Clooney fellow has an unfair advantage,  given that he had a recurring role on “The Facts of Life.” Ask David sometime about the rocket … Continue reading

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just another morning conversation, part 76

mo: hold still. i need to take a photo of your chest. me: my eyes are up here. mo: it’s for michelle. she’ll laugh. me: glare. mo: snaps photo anyhow. women have no idea what it’s like to be objectified … Continue reading

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the keys to a good marriage, part 8

mo: i look like a dude. me: but you’re an attractive fellow. the key to a good marriage is always knowing just the right thing to say.

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Mr. Pants’ Guide to Fancy Cooking ©, part 2

Oatmeal is truly the Aránzazu Isabel María “Arantxa” Sánchez Vicario of breakfast foods. Not flashy, consistent, an everyday go-to sure thing. OK, mostly I just enjoy saying Arantxa Sánchez Vicario. So how do you spice things up? No problema. Make Mr. Pants’ Oatmeal Fiesta ©. It’s … Continue reading

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Mr. Pants’ Guide to Fancy Cooking ©

Welcome to Mr. Pants’ Guide to Fancy Cooking © . Today’s tip: When using a bowl to make oatmeal, check to see if it’s the same bowl Mo used last night to make spicy Spanish rice. If so, consider washing it … Continue reading

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just don’t make my car wear a foo-foo vest

Her eyes were bright just like the stars But she drove a pickup said she hated cars — the prophet lyle lovett My brother has a chihuahua who hangs out with two big dogs. I know exactly how she feels … Continue reading

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