The phone rings. It’s midafternoon.

Could be Mo calling from work, asking if I would like her to pick up a delicious Frosty on the way home from the Y, so I answer.

Alas, it is not. Instead I get the recorded voice of a stage legislator, eager to describe to me her efforts to singlehandedly make Arizona a better place. Why she couldn’t use both hands is never explored.

I patiently wait through the first six or seven words till it becomes obvious she is not going to offer to fetch me a Frosty. These are state servants. Why couldn’t being a servant include fetching Frostys? My taxpayer dollars at work, indeed.

I hang up. I wonder. Does this ever work? Are there people who pick up the phone, hear a droning message and sit through it only to be won over by the caller’s superior intellect? “Oooooh, Rep. Krupnick has been fighting for me against the forces of evil. I am switching my vote immediately!”

In an age of information overload, I suspect random automated calling has the same impact as the guys who hand out fliers at our apartment but can’t be bothered to climb our stairs, taping their Chinese delivery menus to the first step instead. Which always makes me wonder if that’s as far as the actual food would travel as well.

But I guess you do what you have to do. And in our legislators’ defense, they did put our little state in the national spotlight with our recent immigration law.

Thanks, Rep. Krupnick, for the lovely message. I solemnly vow to vote for you if you bring me a Frosty.

And if there’s any Chinese takeout on the bottom step would you mind bringing that up as well?

Thanks!

Your constituent
Gary