Tag Archives: melancholic female singer

hat’s that

“We were never friends. Not for a second. I loved you.” — the prophet piper kerman Love is a funny thing. You see a photo. You know nothing about the subject of the shot, but you instantly picture yourself together … Continue reading

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just another morning conversation, part 74

mo: i was just watching a movie about piranhas eating pizza. me: why would piranhas eat pizza? mo: not pizza. people. me: oh. my movie would’ve been more fun. now i want pizza.

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lost in translation

It’s 4 in the morning. Or maybe 5. I’m not sure what time zone I’m in. Did we spring forward? I think my spring may be broken. I’ve been driving for six or seven hours, which in dog years doesn’t … Continue reading

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things i wish i had said, part 75

“All you really need in life is an old D-35 and some trusty Piranhas.” — the prophet Lao Tzu

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the year rudolph stayed home

   because there’s no rule that says you must have a merry christmas. it’s more like a suggestion. 

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things i wish i had said, part 54

The truth: This story is true, and everything in it happened to me. But I could tell this story all day long. It’s nothing personal. People think my guts were quivering on the floor. People in the audience tell me … Continue reading

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the keys to a good marriage, part 5

when your wife says, “this photo makes me look like a little boy,” don’t respond with, “yes, but you’re a handsome little boy.” you’re welcome.

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